Sometimes, like now, I find it hard to explain myself, my feelings and how I see things. Sometimes words cannot fully express where your mind is and what is going on. Sometimes you look happy without a care in the world but your heart is pretty heavy and no one can believe you if you say you aren’t. Everything is going your way, you should be happy, you are more fortunate than many others but you don’t feel happy about it.
Few people understand the depths of depression, few get how far down the drain it can take you and how deep the sewers are. I am in hell right now, been there for months! Not just 2 months, its been almost a year now in the sewers. I have been brushing it off constantly because I had absolutely no reason to think about it. Don’t get me wrong, my life has been perfect but maybe that is why I decided to force it to go wrong. I have done and said things to help me justify the pit I am in but nothing has helped. Maybe I should have kept on pretending! But how far can one carry a fake face without cracking?