Whenever the sun sets on a stage in my life, I am always distraught. See, I love planning out everything and the sunset means I will not see some of my plans to the end. One thing though that makes me better throughout the sadness is the prospect of a new beginning. That new beginning is the ray of light that I hang on. Even when it feels so far, I keep looking at it. I know even if it is 3am, the darkest hour, in my life right now, the sun will rise again at 6am. Those three hours between could take a year or two to elapse but they still do move.
I am writing this because once again I have failed to sleep, eventhough I was dosing as I watched a movie; Half of a Yellow Sun. I remember reading the book. I cannot say I relate to it but I can surely say I learn from it. Fighting does not solve everything and everyone does get out of the pits of their lives. It takes a lot of strength and resolve to move on. We are human though and we were created to always move on. Being stuck in one’s past is not healthy and looking too far into the future is just as bad. What you have to find is the middle ground (I hate the word balance) A little future to look forward to, live for, and a little past to learn from so you do not repeat the same mistakes. I got hurt in my past and discovered that I have a bigger problem than I thought existed. Moving forward has started with seeking help to solve the problem. Everything else will fall into place when the time comes. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my beginning.