It’s been long, it’s still going on. The solo journey was one I embarked on for my well being. Few will understand it but it’s a very comfortable state for me to be in. You never have to care about others opinions on what you’re doing and how you’re going about it. You don’t have to worry about the time you’ll take waiting for someone. You’ll never have to worry about your companion’s preferences. And most of all, you are free to change your mind as many times as you wish because you can. No one will complain about you being so indecisive. I could go on but I ain’t got time for that.
Although great, the realisation of all these advantages does not come straight away. Before I figured out that I could love my time alone, I was always in tears over my loneliness. I would see happy people and couples and I wished for what they had. I stayed in curled up in my bed because I couldn’t handle going places without friends. Eating alone was hard and I would pretend to be busy on my phone to avoid looking out of place or like I had been stood up. My heart broke every time I called up a friend to hang out and they said they were busy. Then one day, I don’t remember when, I realised I was done! Done waiting for LIFE to find me. It was time for me to start living. I had missed out on a lot waiting for people to join me. Especially when I was always the one calling them up. Clearly I didn’t mean as much to them as I thought or whatever it was.
So I’ve started crossing things off my bucket list by myself. Of course I miss having some one to laugh with or tap when I see interesting stuff, someone to help me take pictures (selfies are exhausting) and people to go dancing with, but I’m not torn up about it anymore. I’ve learned to improvise and have a good time alone. It’s not so bad after all. Movies, food and concerts are good when you are on your own too. I’m yet to book a holiday by myself. That might be a hard one, but I will get to it. Baby steps is everything!