Last weekend I was talking to someone about how the concept of putting others and thinking of them before yourself is a failed one. All the way to the surface from it’s core. My reason, given in an example, was that; you cannot fully care for a sick person when you aren’t fine yourself, you aren’t making them better, you are just transferring your sickness slowly to them. Now don’t get me wrong, I do not mean don’t care about your loved ones. I’m not giving reasons for you to go to dumbass central where you can use it as an excuse to be douchey, no. All I am saying is if you do not feel your best, take a step back and care for yourself first. You just cannot give what you don’t have (it applies to material things and the intangibles too!) I have somewhat veered off the point but i had to get some of that out there, back to being unapologetically me.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need other’s approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her” – Lao Tzu
I’ve been singing one phrase for the past few months and it has brought me further than I can imagine… “Be YOU fam!” I picked it up from ThatDudeMcfly (a youtuber, you should check him out btw) when I was doing the self affirmation part of my therapy. I remember asking myself how three short words, said in 2 seconds, could sum up everything so neatly. I was in awe because this is what I had been looking for, something to remind me of myself at all times. One phrase, made me realise, being the original version of you takes a lot of weight away. You don’t have to be the best. It’s a process but be original and the comfort, self confidence, self love will all fall in place. I accept I am shy or as those close to me know, a seasonal extrovert. I am comfortable with it and if anyone says I should be more outgoing, I now tell them to take their issues out of my corner. It’s that simple! I don’t have to please you at my expense. I’m no longer that insecure teenager who pretended to be who she wasn’t to get accepted. I also allow that I do not have to know everything, I’m not an encyclopaedia, I can say I don’t know and not feel stupid (I’m not giving anyone that power over me.) It doesn’t stop me from learning new things everyday, it makes me realise how much more I need to learn. I can now tell people I don’t like them without having to think of how they’ll take it since it’s pretty easy to “lead” someone on unintentionally and we over think things these days (it’s become a cultural thing.) I can enjoy myself and not regret it because I had fun and that’s all that matters (Snapchat has become my video diary of sorts for those crazy times.) The best part though is, I can tell people, including friends and family, I don’t want to talk and not feel obligated to explain myself. Some times I just don’t feel conversational and I’m comfortable with it. Of course this doesn’t absolve me of responsibility for my actions towards my family and friends but it has helped me change the reasons for taking that responsibility. I don’t have to prove myself to others, that is the base line. That quote by Lao Tzu says it all. The results of being unapologetically me 😊