30:

It’s becoming harder for me to write posts on Sunday. I’m usually knackered! The week comes crashing down on me with a vengeance. With that view then, coupled with the fact that Monday comes with more new things, Sunday is my last day of the week not the first.

So post number 30! It’s exciting! I am proud of myself. I’m almost never this committed to things. I lose interest quickly. Not because I lack discipline but I’m going through a stage of confusion. Rediscovering my interests and myself.

What my mind looks like most of the time

I’m confused, I’m growing,

Growth doesn’t stop,

It’s an everyday thing

When you reach your plateau

You think you’re set

But life always has something different for you

A new curve

If it doesn’t show it to you

You look for it.

It’s human to

We cannot complain.

I’m confused, I’m growing.

Day 29: Friends and Food

Writing this in a bar, with my Bacardi and coke just chilling you know. Being grown up and all, waiting for silent disco to begin 😊 First time to something like this and I can’t wait to see what’s in it for me. Today has been interesting. I had book club and lunch in Brixton. I’ve always loved Brixton. A melting pot of so many cultures and people that is hard to get tired of. There’s always something interesting to see there.

My friends and I met up for bookclub and we had a very good discussion. Intelligent conversations are always appreciated. The book was Chimamanda’s We Should All Be Feminists. Like all books I can relate to, it sparked up a fire in me… my analytical and chatty side came out. It shows itself whenever I’m passionate about something. Could have said more, but I’m not here to talk about the book. It’s not the time and I’m not in that space either.

My point today is how fulfilling it is when you meet people that you instantly hit it off with. We don’t talk about it much but it’s one of those things you cannot take for granted. Especially when you consider the fact that you deal with people every day everywhere but there’s always a 90% chance you’ll leave that contact where you’ve found it. Could be work, an event, school, anywhere really. It’s never a guaranteed connection.

That is why I’m glad I met the ladies of Melanin City (that will be for another day.) I met Kissi and Bemnet a month ago and they invited me to take a seat at their table (drink that Solange reference, I love the album.) It was comfortable, I felt at home, like it wasn’t the first time I was meeting them. If anyone had seen how deep I was in conversation, they’d think I’d known them for a while. Anyone that knows me, knows I can be standoffish when I meet new people. I wasn’t this time (and my mum would be proud!) Today I met Charmaine too, she loves breakfast as much as my Lizzie (never thought I would meet another breakfast fan you know!) I will meet the rest as time goes on.

Back to the day (it’s a mix today, allow me.) We fed our minds and stomachs. That’s enough for me to give it an A+. It’s coming to midnight and I am still satisfied by the way.

Plantain can never go WRONG! Do WRONG! You don’t like it? Search yourself πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚

It’s about time to dance off my calories. See ya! 😊

Day 28: Re-discovering Music

Β  Β  Β  Β One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship​

I live by these words, the music part though rings truer than the rest.

We all have songs that are our favourites at certain times in our lives. Most when they’re new. I always have the one song on replay for a long time till I get tired of it. It takes me a week or two to get there. Then I care no more.
With the music that is made these days though, I have had to look back at my old faves to fulfill my music needs. There’s not much I have to choose from in the new stuff. For some reason it is trash to me or I don’t understand it, maybe. To me it’s a mess. Most of it anyway.

So to counter this problem, I decided to get into streaming music. Something I was against for a while (subscriptions aren’t my thing.) With this ,naturally, I did my research and made up my mind on Amazon unlimited. Not as popular as Spotify, Apple music, and the rest out there but since I have Prime, it becomes the cheapest for me. Β£2 a month discount comes in handy in the long run.

I have been on a re-discovery trip lately and it’s amazing. All the music I had forgotten about coming back to me, taking me back down memory lane. The funnest part is the singing along. I plug in my little speaker, use it as a microphone, and I sing my heart out. I love singing and dancing like a crazy child. It makes me happier than ever.

It’s long, easy to hold and it is WATERPROOF! What more does a girl need πŸ’ƒπŸΎ

Every day and mood is catered for. I have had my zouk days, hip hop ones, the slow jams, and indie ones. All of them whenever I feel like them. I don’t have to wait to free up money to buy albums (I honestly wonder why I didn’t do the streaming thing sooner.)

Right now I’m listening to Pompi. He’s an intelligent lyricist. He might be Zambian but I understand his music. The Bantu languages all have some similarities and meaning can be deciphered with context. That definitely helps.

My soul is enriched with music 😊

Day 27

I worked on a boat today! 

Yes, I was excited!

The Silver Sturgeon it is called

It was an interesting shift, I can’t lie

Now I have put a cruise on my bucket list

Before it wasn’t,

I didn’t see the interest in floating around on water

As if land isn’t enough!

Today, I get it

It’s an experience!

On the inside

I want to be on it when it’s sunny though. Today it rained the whole way, from ExCeL London to Embankment. When you’re on this island, you’ll always hear people complain about the shit weather. Trust me, it isn’t a lie. That is why we celebrate the sunny days fully. We appreciate them. We don’t take them for granted.

Day 26: 6 hours

Well well well, my mind is in a shambles! Today something happened. It wasn’t big, but it made me say to myself, “I am better than this” and walk away.

Since I quit my last job in December, I’ve been on a mad job hunt. Of course some times I have gotten frustrated and just thrown in the towel. One such time was in March. I woke up one day, read my emails and told my uncle, “You know what? I’m done!” I was on the verge of calling my mum to tell her I’m coming home. What kept me put though was the reminder that I chose to be here and I can stick it out. This is just a hiccup. I just have to go back to the drawing board and start again. 

That’s when I decided to sign up with an agency. Now for those that don’t know how they work, you’re notified whenever they have a job and you go in for it. That means you can control your time and whatever you do. A good system, right? To an extent it is, you barely get taxed and you can get your days off without asking. Problem is, unlike a contract and salaried job, these are zero hour contracts, I call them “The Thing Created by the Devil,” where the jobs are not as frequent and your income flow isn’t constant either. Mainly because you’re as disposable as a paper cup. It’s a thing capitalists came up with to avoid responsibility. See, as an employee, they have to care for you but as an agency worker, you look after yourself. Took me a while to discover that but once I did, I knew I could also limit my care towards them. My motto for time has been putting myself first, and that is not about to change.

Back to today. So my agency sends me to a place to work. I don’t want to spend much on transport (it’s the most expensive thing in London) so I mapped out my journey the day before. I was to get 3 different buses to get where I was going. Crossing from South East to North West isn’t an easy thing when you travel by bus only. It took me 1 hr 45 mins to get there. There in time and when I got to the sign in desk, they told me, I was over booked! OVER BOOKED! And they had no where to put me till 3pm. Why ask agencies for staff you cannot cater for? Keep in mind, it is 12pm now. They then decided to call around and see where to place me. 

When they found a spot, I got changed into the uniform off I was, happy that I hadn’t travelled for nothing. The transport to and fro is never reimbursed by the way so you’re always hoping that your journey is worth it. I get to the area and the manager there sends me back, apparently I was wearing the wrong trousers and shoes. These are the same black trousers I work in everywhere and same black lace up shoes. Worse still, I noticed him cutting my sign on time by a whole 45 minutes. Some places do this so that they pay you less. You’re told to arrive an hour early but they take that hour signing you in and allocating you. The hour, though spent on the premises, with your phone in a bag, already changed into uniform, or in the queue waiting, is not paid. You then wonder why you wake up early to be there on time and lose an hour of sleep and money too. A total lose-lose situation for you. What can you do though, Theresa May says you need to work to get out of poverty! What about the people that cheat us stop doing so? 

I had nothing to do but go back to the sign in desk where I was told of course, to sit and wait again! I did a Netflix survey, deleted emails, replied messages, basically the stuff I do every morning (thank God for smart phones) but I was livid! It’s one thing to leave your bed in the morning and happily go to work. It’s a whole different story though when you get to work and they cannot find something for you to do. I felt like a person they’ve fired, doesn’t get the point, keeps going back to the workplace, and they decide to just ignore him and not give him anything to do. I felt like George Costanza at his Real Estate job. Everyone kept passing by me. The people at the sign in desk were not making any calls anymore to find me an area to work in. I checked the time and it was 1:15pm. At this point I was getting angrier and also where it dawned on me, they were taking a piss. I took off the shirt, folded it and placed it on the chair, changed into my trainers, and off I was.

Today I wasted 6 hours of my life, 

6 hours that I will not get back

6 hours that I did not plan to waste,

6 hours that I could have found something better for

6 hours…

6 whole damn hours!

I wouldn’t have been hurt if I had planned to waste them myself. I usually do something fun when I do. Jeremy Corbyn should win and ban zero hour contracts! I’m tired of being disrespected!

Day 25: Insomnia

It’s raining! I can hear it outside my window, washing away the day that just ended, noisily bringing in the new one. I don’t want the night to go but minutes are rushing past. So fast you could think they’re springboks running from the dangerous claws of the cheetah. It’s amazing! Every minute you don’t get back. 27, 28, 29… 30 minutes past now. I’m still not asleep. I can hear everything! Lying in my bed, eyes closed ears open… I’m thinking! A lot is going on, so many hopes for the hours coming up. Somehow waiting on them to be fulfilled, not crashed, fulfilled. Positivity is needed here. What’s wrong with having no hope? Can’t I just skate by and not think? Can I just empty my mind and chill? I cannot chill though, I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow. I need my wits with me. I need a sleeping pill, better still a coffee on my way to work. Will I have the time? Do I have to leave earlier? *sigh* I’m tapped out 😴

Day 24: Why I moved to London

A few days ago I was asked why I moved to London. At that time, all I could say was because I wanted to. After the conversation ended though, I thought to myself, why did I come here? It wasn’t for change really, but I always wanted to leave home. Experience living somewhere else, and London was the safest bet. There’s family here. The opportunity presented itself, I took it. Don’t get me wrong, I love Uganda. The 365 days sun, the smell of rain on the dirt, the fresh air, the food and most of all, the people. It’s amazing. My heart has just always yearned to live in a big city. Trust me, if I hadn’t moved here, I would probably be planning my move to The Big Apple.

So why did I move? I wanted new experiences. My world back home was slowly becoming too small. The more people I knew, the smaller it felt. I needed a place where I would discover something new everyday. It’s coming to 3 years since I came here but I can guarantee you that I still get lost on these streets. I still find new restaurants. It’s a big place. I’m sure only cab drivers know the whole of it (their brains must be big). I have a bunch of firsts to have. Just last Saturday I had my first time on the Hammersmith and City Line. Not so big, but still a first. I counted it. That is what excites me most. The new. I get to feed my eyes and my mind. There’s nothing better. It makes me feel young again.

Forgive me, I’m sleepy. It’s past my bedtime. I will continue this another day. I cannot lie though, moving is a decision I am glad I made. I will talk about it more extensively one day. Allow me to retire 😊

23: My Mum


Sunday was her birthday, the 3rd one I haven’t been home for. I’m not a bad child, I’m just thousands of miles away and too broke to book a flight to see her on her birthday.

I love her!

She’s​ an amazing person, she’s not paying me, she really is. She’s my rock and one of my favourite people. I can talk to her about anything. She hasn’t bumped my girls yet, but she’s up there at the top of the “list of people I trust.” 

Of course this relationship did not just start out of the blue! It grew like many of the relationships we have with other people. It started when I was 15. Before that she was just my mum. But when I was 15, I remember I was at school and the teacher called her to tell her about how mischievous I was being. This wasn’t a new occurrence, she’d been called for as far as I can remember. It was different this time though. The story she was to hear was out of this world. Apparently the couch potato she knew so well, was always up and about in the city causing havoc with her friends. Bear in mind that at this time, it was a hustle getting me out of bed when I was home for the holidays. Everyone at home knew it. My parents were my only source of income. Money that I used to buy novels. It didn’t make sense. Especially when I almost never asked them for money to go anywhere and I was home whenever they came back from work. She listened to all that was being said, and after my teacher was done, she told her that it definitely wasn’t me and left school. That’s the day I discovered that my mum knew me well. Well enough to be one of my ride or dies.

We’ve been through ups and downs since then. Celebrations and arguments, laughter and tears, everything! She was there to hold me when I went through my first break up. I remember her words clearly, “there will be many more friends like him.” Sounded harsh, but it gave me the harsh reality. I miss the hugs that followed though. The hugs! I cried last year because I wanted a hug from her but there was no way to get it.

I miss my mummy! I need to go home soon and see her. Probably spend a week with her, I need more than that but I will work with what I have πŸ€—

22:

No day this time because I’m writing this on Monday anyway. I was exhausted both days of the weekend, all I could think of was my bed.

Saturday was both tough and fulfilling at the same time. I woke up late yet I had an interview. I managed to get there though, ace it, and begin the rest of my day. It was long emotionally.

I decided to have an early lunch during which I always get something to read. I like to do some light reading when I’m doing things like eating. I started reading a hash tag that was trending on South African Twitter, #girlchildtellyourstory encouraging girls and women to tell their stories of when men abused them or tried to at any point in their lives. The hash tag was prompted after the death of a young lady at the hands of her boyfriend. These stories were heartbreaking. The one thing that struck me hard though, was the fact that these were not new to my ears. The fact that these were the same things my mother warned me about every time I left the house. That my friends and I at university always had to know where we were within the club whenever we went out. And guys still did not get it when we asked our friends who they were with. Some would say, “She’s grown, she can think for herself, you don’t need to watch her all the time!” It was annoying that they didn’t understand! They did not get the levels of worry we dealt with even when we were having the time of our lives.

What disturbs me most though, is the fact that men all come up like they studied Apologism to PhD level. Going on rants about how they’re all not the same. Look, we know you aren’t, but you uphold and take advantage of a culture that harms women every day. Your mother’s, daughters, aunts and sisters are exposed to this life. As women, we are forced to worry about things that shouldn’t stress us. Always on guard when walking alone down a street. I want to walk at night, see two men walking towards me and not get paranoid. Tired of running home like I did on Saturday night. I’m not here to bash men though, I have friends and most of my relatives are male anyway and I love them. I also cannot imagine them being or doing half the things I read. That doesn’t stop me from saying what I have to say though.

Men DO BETTER! It works for everyone in the long run 😊

Day 21: Facts About Me

Here’s a few facts about me:

  • I have 5 names, my parents were excited when it came to naming me, so they gave me a whole 5. All of them after great women in their lives. My grandmas, my dad’s aunt and my dad’s grandma. It makes me feel special.
  • I’m 5’8. My family claims I’m tall but I feel nicely average. They’re the short ones πŸƒπŸΎβ€β™€οΈ I like it though, especially when I’m wearing my hair out. The afro! With the heels on and I’m towering over everyone. It gives me joy 😊
  • I love ice cream and in the cones, not the tubs. The crunchy mix with the soft fluffy goodness is like heaven. It’s the reason I like Phish Food by Ben and Jerry’s


    See those little chocolate fish, they’re an amazing mix with the cream.

    • Getting to know people is sincerely one of my best pass times. Everyone has a story to tell and in a different way. Even when it’s the same facts, it will sound different. I love the colour people bring to life. Although they TRY me sometimes.
    • I also like understanding people’s point of views. Before I judge you, I want to get you. Judging you will then be more peaceful. I judge people, but don’t we all?
    • I love my people, everyone does, don’t they? But I really do love them. They light me up and I can do anything for them. Not going to jail though, that’s where we draw the line.
    • I watch sitcoms A LOT! Just to avoid depth. I get too deep into the other series and catch feelings too. I’ve cried when characters I loved died or were sick, or captured and its put me off the story. The pain is real I tell you, IT’S REAL!
    • I am a book hoarder! Yes, join me in my abyss. I buy books and keep them. For some I read the first pages and I lose it. I write them off. Could pick them up one day. It’s why I have a Kindle, the space for physical ones has run out!

    I should stop there for now 😊 I’ll reveal other facts as I go on.