On Valentine’s Day and Other Things

Dear future husband,

For reasons unknown to me right now, I’ve decided to write this letter to you on the 13th day of the 2nd month of the 2nd year of Cardi, 14th or so of Rihanna and about the 20th of Beyonce. I mention them because I want to, not much reason to that. The crazy part though, is that I don’t know you, can’t picture who you are or even point out on a map where for the life of me I will find you. But it’s the day before Valentine’s and I’m just hoping when you read this, you’ll say, “that’s cute!” and smile maybe (fingers crossed.)

As I mentioned before, the “official day of love” is tomorrow and in all my stubbornness I can proudly say I have never celebrated it willingly. I hope you haven’t either. Why? I am a fan of things uniquely catered to individual experiences. I’ve been called a snob for it but I like it that way. So between the two of us, we’ll have celebrations like the day we met, the day we became official and the lot. They’ll mean more to us. There’ll be less unnecessary worldly pressure and all I’ll need really is to spend that time with you. I’m a lousy gift giver so I won’t expect you to be good at it either (if you are good, I’m not complaining, I promise)

Also the day you propose. Getting used to manicured nails so that I’m not caught off guard 🀣

Now as I write this, a few reasons for the letter are coming to me. One of them being the fact that I’m tired of being asked why I haven’t been on a date in 2 years. So this is kind of my explanation for those that keep telling me not to give up on finding you.

First of all, I haven’t given up, I am just working on myself. You must know how hard dating is these days. Sieving through all these people to find you is a lot of work. Just as much as working on me. So I decided, why split my time between two activities when I can pick one and master it? Of course the one I can control won hands down. I didn’t have sleepless nights pondering and it’s working well so far.

In addition to that, I am tired. Tired of having to entertain conversations I’d rather do away with just to seem approachable/ agreeable (I don’t know which word fits best) enough to be dated. Being told I am too picky because I know exactly what I want in you. “Give him a chance,” they say, “being picky will not get you far. Time is running out.” For who though? Funny thing is, I’ve always had a list of what I’d want you to be like. Turning 12 this year, it’s evolved with my age and mindset but a few things have remained constant. Just a few, you shouldn’t be scared. I’m not here to make rules for you to abide by.

I am not in a hurry to find you. Take your time. We will meet when the time is right. Maybe we have met and we both know nothing about it *insert picture of current MCM* The universe knows. So I’m putting this out there, I think that is the right thing to do.

That’s all I have to say for now. I will continue another day when I have more for you.

Your future wife,

Mwanyi 😊