Day 3: Self Care

Do you TAKE CARE of yourself? 

Do you TELL yourself how amazing you are everyday?

Do you WALK AWAY from negativity when it comes your way?

Do you LISTEN to what is happening within you?

Do you FEED your mind and soul everyday?

I do. You should too.

It’s coming to 2 years since I learnt how important self care is. Before that I was in my world full of pretence and people pleasing. I thought I was being nice, I didn’t want to be seen as the “salty girl” everytime. It tapped me out but I only realised it later when I could count the number of friends I had on one hand but I actually talked to everyone. The times I felt alone increased and my emotions seemed ready to burst out every time. I argued whenever someone “came at me” with a different idea (my mum saw the most of this.) I was convinced it was a phase. The phase stayed, year in year out. I just learned to cope with it and It’s only when I changed my surroundings that I realised I wasn’t taking care of myself. That my self esteem was in shambles. I was full of negative energy with no way to let go of it. 

Taking care of yourself, your mind, body and soul includes a lot of things. Not just eating right and doing exercise. That helps but there’s more to it. You read things that build you. I’m always looking for new things to learn. I love being a know-it-all though 😊

Interact healthily (that also means keeping yourself out of dumb arguments on social media) I almost got into one today with someone who doubted the existence of my tribe and mother tongue πŸ™„ (ignorance is bad people!) I have actually made it a point to stay away from the news too. It makes me anxious and infuriates me more each time I watch it. I don’t need that in my life.

Listen, not to only what is being said, but to actions, music and to yourself too. A lot more is said without words and it’s how I have managed to stay sane. Even silence speaks volumes. Maybe it’s why they say it’s deafening.

I have learnt that everything that happens around me isn’t about me. It’s how I have managed to take things less personal. If someone doesn’t answer my calls, I think it’s their problem not mine. I did the calling, what you do after is up to you. It’s a less stressful way to live life. I get to worry about the more important things.

Believing you’ve got the sauce. This began with self affirmation. Each day I faced at my lowest started with kind words to myself. Even when I couldn’t leave my bed I said them, wrote them down. I focused on what I had and managed to reduce the hatred I had raised for me in me. It’s been a while since then but I can comfortably say I love me as a whole, flaws and all.

Self care comes from within you. No one but yourself can give you the care and love you need. So don’t neglect yourself, it’s not an easy road to take.

To self love πŸ₯‚β€οΈπŸ˜Š

66 Days of Journaling

It takes 66 days to completely break a habit. Yes, 66! I discovered that just a few days ago and I’ve decided to try it out. What habit am I breaking? My life! I know, I see the questions coming at me. Let me explain…

Yesterday, I cried.

No, I wasn’t hurt by anyone, I didn’t knock my small right toe against a table leg and neither was I pinched. I cried because I’m tired. Tired of throwing Β a my CV out in the Β a job searching pool. Tired of calling companies to ask if they need new staff. Tired of rejection emails. And finally tired of feeling like shit every time I look through my inbox and I find nothing but tumbleweed in it. 5 months of the same crap has made me regret leaving my last job. A job I walked out of because I was unhappy. When you regret a great decision you made for yourself, you know it’s time to shake yourself up.

So yeah, I cried, for a good hour. Felt worse after but the tears cleared up one thing for me, I am stuck in a rut. My life has become a habit and if I am to move forward, I have to break it. The 66 days makes more sense now, doesn’t it?

The journey begins with getting out of my comfort zone;

  • Waking up early whether I’m going to work or staying at home
  • Doing more exercise (summer is here🀣)
  • Writing more, everyday to be exact. I love it so why not? I’ll actually post something here everyday. Don’t care whether it’s trash or not.
  • Going out more (because I’m such a recluse) I actually pay and RSVP to events but stay home when they come up πŸ™ˆ
  • Taking my sewing machine out of storage. I’ve been meaning to for 3 months now.

Today breaking the habit begins. 66 Days of Change 😊

Relax Child, Relax!

Relax child, relax! Something I tell myself every morning before I jump out of bed. Even before I say that silent prayer thanking God for giving me life. It might seem awkward to you but to me it is everything. “Why?” you ask, because I know what life without relaxing is. It’s having your heart race at the slightest things and feeling like something is constantly chasing you. It’s having your mind tell you all kind of things you should say and do but also playing out the worst case scenarios in 3D. Actually, it’s like having the biggest group of people hurling insults at you, telling you how inadequate you are and how you will never amount to anything sensible. Of course it’s all in your head. Any one you confide in will tell you to be strong and snap out of it but no one knows how hard it is. At that time, no one is in your shoes to empathise with you. So you do what you think is best, you wear that uniform that has kept you going all your life, the “I’m a nice person” smile, “I don’t give a shit” attitude, and the “happy go lucky” hair-do. It doesn’t get better than this, you believe, but your mind has other plans for you. The more you ignore its needs, the bigger it grows, until it overpowers you. Just like that little puppy you refused to train but now it’s too late to change it because it’s bigger than Marmaduke. It is no longer adorable (It is madness I tell you πŸ˜‚) You keep going day after day, holding everything like a bra that’s too small until one day it BURSTS! Yeah, it spills over like a shaken soda, spilling everywhere and messing everything up; work, family, friends, health and worst of all your neatly intact emotions. At first you don’t know what’s happening, you shake it off as a bad day but the bad day becomes a week which carries on into a month. The month ends and another begins, no change. It suddenly dawns on you that you’ve crashed into a wall and you’re going nowhere. You start asking yourself what you should do and one thing resonates in your tired little mind, a whisper saying, “relax child, relax!”

Music as Therapy!

Music is always there to comfort me, get me thinking and all. I channel my feelings into it and it has worked for me perfectly. I always look for a song that relates most to what I am going through and I loop it till I get tired of it. No wonder songs take me back to certain points in my life.
Right now, I am listening to What we ain’t got by Home Free because well I want what I don’t have right now. Quite straight forward, right? Well first day I listened to it, I channelled my sadness into it. I cried my eyes out to it and in it I found solace that I hadn’t had that day. Its a beautiful acappella by the way.
Well I am much better now. How do I know? I have looped it again and I haven’t cried my eyes out. In fact, I am enjoying the song for its beauty and singing along too πŸ™‚
Music really is therapy! A kind that I will always run with whenever I am going through tough times πŸ™‚